Darkness Is Drawn To Light by KittySib, literature
Literature
Darkness Is Drawn To Light
Words have power
every compliment,
every insult,
words of love or hate
all of them
The path I walk
has many words
many voices
which only I can hear
When I tell people they can shine,
what right do I have?
My light is covered in shadows.
Even Shadows need the light,
but when they flock around it,
I forget what it's like to shine.
I become a Shadow myself,
filled with constant need and hope.
Sometimes I feel like a liar
Like a con man
like a thief.
Can my light possibly reach the Shadows?
Do I even shine at all?
Even when I tell others with great confidence,
that they can, will, or have that light again.
That there is light in everyone......
Scream again.
I can't contain the pain.
I need the bite of blade,
need to see the blood.
Trapped inside my head,
screaming never stops.
Hating everything,
I need to get away.
Can't escape myself.
I find me wherever I hide.
I can't keep it in.
I can't let it out.
Letting go doesn't grant release.
My monsters hold me down,
hold me back,
lock me away.
I can't come back.
Trembling with emotion,
I reach desperately.
Reach for the unknown.
Even the silent air can't quell my screaming.
Shatter all my shackles,
shatter all my chains.
Break the doors and walls apart.
I'll release my demons.
All I need to do is let everything out.
Every last vanished s
I want to go home.
Back to my sanctuary inside my head.
No one can see me there.
I don’t have to deal with stress there.
It’s pure magic.
I feel so alone and exposed out in the “real world”.
I’ve tried to be someone I can like,
But one can only fight the darkness and shadows for so long.
I feel so powerless and helpless.
I should be able to control my life, my emotions, my reality.
Instead, I am stuck here.
Out in the “real world”.
Alone.
The wonder of blue hair only lasts so long.
Is there really anything worthwhile?
Anything to believe in?
If I withdraw from the world,
And hide from everyone…
Petals are a scatter
Across rain torn grass,
Vines caressing leaves
Fallen from bare trees
To the right, the garden
Holds a scene of crush -
Remains of rose petals
Create a scene of red
Shimmering beneath
Lightning strikes
One blood red petal fallen
For every death occurred
In this unknown village
But there in the midst
Lies a rose of black,
Drenched in sorrow
From its very tip
To the loose roots
Remained in the soil
A few darkened petals
To remember our losses,
But a living death
Meant for true hope
So I stare at the screen,
Willing the page to come to life.
For words to magically appear,
And change how I feel.
Instead all I hear in the silence is this inner voice demanding that everything burn.
Burn it all.
Break away.
Escape while there’s still a chance.
I have no flame.
I cannot obey,
But the words stay locked in my mind.
Burn.
Kill.
Escape.
I can’t do any of those things.
I’m trapped.
Frozen.
Helpless.
Hopeless.
How can I be anything?
Do anything?
I just want it all to go away,
But I know it won’t.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned,
It’s that things will never just go away.
They may be forgo
I needed something to clear my mind.
I needed someone I left behind.
I lost myself inside my Shadows.
Now I’ll never be free.
I thought love would conquer all.
I trust you,
But you let me fall.
Despair took over, and then I knew.
I wasn’t real.
Not to you.
Starlight gleams beyond my window,
But I’m trapped in this world I made.
A place of refuge from all my tears.
Tears I shed for you.
Softly whispers consume my mind.
I look for answers, but all I find
Is shattered pieces of a different time.
Who I was before you.
I stare at the clock,
Willing myself to feel tired.
It doesn’t work.
I take a sleep aid.
It doesn't work either.
Sitting here alone,
I drown the quiet with music.
I know I have to keep it together.
That doesn't send the depression running though.
Every moment ticks by
With infinite slowness.
Softly,
My mind presents impulses.
Mild ones first-
Like a snack.
Ever so stealthily,
More psychotic impulses surface.
I know I can’t-
Won’t-
Follow them.
I just feel frightened by my own mind,
And ever so alone.
Sifting through vague remnants of memories,
I uncover a veritable labyrinth within.
The sound of weeping and unhinged laughter
Sends shivers down my spine.
This place holds all my past selves,
Controlling memories that could destroy me.
The farther and deeper I go,
The more convinced I am that this
Is not where I want to be.
I try to block out the sounds of despair-
And that is when I notice the whispers.
“Come on. This way.” they beckon.
I follow without question.
Deep within and on a different path
From the halls I walked
Was a beautiful oasis.
An ever evening sky,
Glittering with stars and moonlight.
Blue roses climbing the wal
The wind blows fiercely,
Crying as if it’s heart is broken.
The sky hears it’s pitiful cries,
And sheds tears of it’s own.
It seems as if all of nature feels the pain in my heart,
Crying when I cannot,
And snowing the colder my heart grows.
I wish someone could melt my heart,
So that it would be I who cried,
And not the sky.
Unless that changes,
I fear an eternal winter of the heart.
I want to be someone’s love.
I have so much love inside,
But no one to give it to.
Like a moth to the flame,
I am drawn to those who cannot,
Or will not love me back.
I have bent over backwards,
Trying to earn their affection.
Doing things I regret,
Giving more than I have,
All to get even a crumb of affection or love.
Time after time,
I find myself used and discarded.
Unneeded and unwanted.
I understand in my head
that I must like myself.
That if I don’t respect myself,
No one else will either.
Still,
The longing remains.
The longing to love and be loved.
My family thinks I’m too giving,
And they try to protect me.
Still,